Coping and Self-Care Strategies

By Rita Sanderson

Although the article “Self-Care Strategies” was published in the UPDATE many years ago, many still consider this to be an “evergreen” piece. Whether we are individuals who are newly diagnosed or those who have lived with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) or Fibromyalgia (FM) for some time, it will always be important to figure out how to take care of ourselves and find ways to lead our lives to the fullest.

To achieve this, it becomes necessary to examine and re-evaluate if what we are doing still works and/or if we are getting the most of what is available.

It is also essential to stay current on the latest news and developments (i.e., healthcare, programs, services or discounts) and take appropriate action.Therefore, with this in mind, the purpose of this editorial is to touch on the things which have changed the most significantly over the years.

Without a doubt, advances in technology have impacted daily life for everyone—from paying bills on-line or checking out at the grocery store, to how health care services are provided and managed. Nowadays, many doctors communicate with patients via email and more often than not, prescriptions are transmitted electronically to the pharmacy. If someone is prescribed “controlled” medications, prescriptions usually have to be dropped off at the pharmacy in person, showing proper identification.

Learn all you can about your illness

Read at least one good, thorough book about your illness (be sure to check out the book reviews on this website), look for medical articles published by physicians who have specialized in the treatment of the Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) or Fibromyalgia (FM), do Internet searches.

A place to start is to thoroughly use this website, which contains significant much information as well as helpful links to other sources of information, subscribe to newsletters published by major ME/CFS and/or FM organizations, and subscribe to Internet sources that will automatically deliver information to you.

Try going to a couple of support group meetings or using one of the many illness-specific Internet discussion forums. Education is one of the most important components in the treatment of ME/CFS and FM and knowledge will empower you.

Listen to your body and become attuned to its signals

No doctor will ever know your body as well as you. Recognize there will be new boundaries that you cannot push through. Discuss and analyze what aspects of your lifestyle may be aggravating your condition and plan changes accordingly.

Be extra careful on those days that you are feeling exceptionally bad; reconsider if you should go out (especially getting behind the wheel) to take care of a particular errand or visit on a really bad day. There are times that it may be better to postpone it, or call to see if someone else can take you.

Allow yourself to grieve for your loss of wellness

Grieving for your loss of wellness is a normal process consisting of several phases:

  1. Denial and isolation (a defense mechanism)—a time during which we collect our thoughts.
  2. Anger (a normal and even a necessary emotion) can be exhibited in a number of ways—sarcasm, gossip, compulsiveness, and intolerance. It is important to find appropriate ways to express and direct this anger.
  3. Bargaining is when you try to cure yourself with good intentions and realize these efforts are in vain.
  4. Depression can set in when you realize that neither anger nor good intentions will make the illness go away. It is normal to experience some degree of sadness when you confront your loss of health and previous lifestyle. You need to let this phase run its course, but if this sadness reaches a point that your basic daily functioning becomes extremely difficult, then professional intervention should be considered. In due time, you will regain a sense of proportion. You start to realize that, although this illness has closed some of life’s paths, the journey can proceed on other, equally challenging and meaningful paths. It is helpful to take stock in what remains, rather than fixate on what is lost.
  5. Accepting the illness and changes that this illness brings does not mean that you like what has happened, but that you are working with reality, striving to have more of life rather than less, and emerging as a “new” self.